I once believed certain dating pressures would fade with age. As we become comfortable with who we are and what we want, we are less likely to accept and conform to certain things but maybe that’s not true.
Dating is difficult in the tech age. Everyone wants things to happen instantly and many people are more open to the non-traditional ways of living life. A lot of men choose to avoid relationships, opting for hook-ups instead. Many women opt for friends with benefit arrangements because there’s no time for real relationships with work, school and day-to-day life. Almost no one wants to wait until marriage for sex; many need to assess sexual ability and compatibility before they will even consider a relationship. Sex has changed as well.
I remember when “doggy style” was taboo, now oral sex is as common as a kiss and anal sex is considered just as normal as vaginal sex. So, what do you do when your dating style doesn’t fit today’s standards? Should you conform?
When I asked myself this question my answer was an easy no but was that the truth? Loneliness can make you change your perspective. If you go through several years alone, you may just find yourself open to the idea of a “hook-up”.
I took some time to analyze my love life and some of the things I’d done in the name of love. I discovered I’d been doing a lot of conforming; dropping my standards to fit what’s expected. Why? It didn’t help in my search for love and those relationships ended up being the worst in my history. Plus, I don’t even want to discuss how bad I felt about myself the following day.
I’ve learned quite a bit during my time alone, one of the biggest take-aways is strength. As a woman, you have to be strong in today’s dating environment. It may be difficult to remain single and hold tightly to your standards but the right one will always come along. Maybe, we have to go through a few heartbreaks to truly realize the value of keeping a standard and refusing to conform?
The second biggest take-away is comfort; you have to find comfort in being single. Relax, don’t place so much importance on dating and finding love. Companionship is just one part to the puzzle of life, if that piece is not in view focus on all the other pieces that are right in front of you.
Thinking back, I know I conformed because I felt an overwhelming need to have someone in my life, I was on the hunt. When you’re on the hunt you’ll do almost anything because you’re in crisis-mode.
So, should you conform? No, at the end of the day you have to live with and be proud of yourself. Each of us has a unique set of needs and our standards are the basis of those needs. Be brave, in life go for what you want without compromise. No need in settling for something you don’t want just to have something. Nothing really can be better than anything when it comes to dating.
Well, guys that’s my Sunday thought of the day, hope you enjoyed it!
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